Unfortunately, we have to leave Thailand soon. We have been here for three years, full of ups and downs. After a long adjustment period we reached a comfortable enough, lovely, warm, cosy spot of feeling at home. But it is time to say good bye now.
I have been a traveler most of my life. 2/3rds of my life to be precise. The longest I have been in one place since I was 10 was 6 years. Most of the moving has been my choice, and I do love this nomadic lifestyle for many reasons. I cannot imagine myself living any other way. But the reality is that there is a lot of pain in the separation from those that I have grown attached to. I am reminded now that constantly moving is also constantly leaving. Leaving friends, leaving routines, leaving my house, leaving that cozy feeling of stability, leaving my family again after each visit. With the joy and wide-eyed amazement that I get from the priviledge of discovering the world, also comes the constant feeling of mourning. A deep rumbling of sorrow and of fear. Yes, now we are so easily connected that I know I am not really loosing my friends…But my heart aches anyways when I say good-bye, because I truely do not know if I will ever see them again. The world is wide, and our paths very unpredictable… I find it both beautifully poetic and deeply disturbing to know that people I shared a significant piece of my life with I might never see again.
One thing that is very different now is that I have my own little island of stability: my husband and my little mangosteen. Thailand was our first shared adventure and many more will follow.
I will try, for sanity’s sake, to focus on the happy side of things, and celebrate the priviledge of having lived in Thailand, of having met wonderful friends, and of our daughter being born here. Expect a lot of photos of Thailand in the weeks to come!